Values Over Style
Can you name your core values?
I mean actually name them out loud.
Most people can't. A lot of people claim to know themselves and their values, but when asked…struggle to articulate it. They end-up claiming things like "integrity" without really being able to explain what that means.
In leadership circles, there's a lot of talk about knowing your leadership style but not nearly as much on your core values. Styles may help in certain contexts, but values provide a deeper foundation that leaders can pull from.
I'll take a leader who understands their values and beliefs over one who knows and adheres to their "natural style".
It's the old substance vs style argument in a different context.
Different situations call for different leadership styles. Situational flexibility is key as there are times where a great leader is going to need to flex their style.
In contrast, values can help guide decisions regardless of what leadership approach is called for. You will likely be less inclined to betray your values than your natural leadership style. For good reason. Values determine authenticity, build trust, and serve as an ethical guide for decision-making.
If you can't name your core values, out loud…no worries. Today, I'm providing a few tips for doing just that…
Highlights (and lowlights)
Think about times you have felt happiest, most proud, or most fulfilled. What were you doing, and why did it feel so good? These moments can serve as great clues to what you truly value.
You can explore the opposite as well. When were the moments you felt most frustrated or angered? Identifying the low points might help you better understand the contrasting values you do care about.
Use a List
For those who prefer a more formal and thorough approach, you might consider using a list. There are all sorts of free resources online that provide lists of 50-100+ values.
Grab one of those lists. Sit down for some interrupted time and starting going through it. Highlight the ones that resonate with you and cross out the ones that don’t'.
This approach takes longer, but it really makes you consider a full list of values as opposed to whatever comes to your head in the moment. Different approaches will be best for different people, so choose whichever is right for you. You may even combine them.
Be selective
Regardless of how you go about identifying your values, I recommend narrowing it to a list of 3-5.
It can be hard to get down to this number and it should be. Anyone who ends-up with 10+ values is going to end-up with tension and contradictions within those values. You can't be everything to everyone and the point of this exercise is really identifying what matters to you above all else.
If it we're easy, it wouldn't matter much.
Challenge yourself
Once you have your list, leave it alone for a day or two. When you're ready, come back and challenge yourself on how frequently you live-up to or break these values. Try to be as honest with yourself as possible here.
Values like "generosity" are great examples. Of course, most of us want to think of ourselves as generous. But if you rarely donate your time, money or expertise…where are you pulling that value from?
Aspirational goals are fine, but if you haven't prioritized a certain value at this point…it's likely because you value other things more. Those are the things that should be making your list. Select what is right for you over what seems virtuous to others.
Challenge yourself accordingly to try and find the values that you are routinely demonstrating. This doesn't mean you are flawlessly living them, just consistently.
Revisit it regularly
This is not a one-and-done activity. Values change over time and especially after major life events. Like many others, my own values changed significantly after the birth of my first child.
But that's not the only thing to prompt changes to our values. Even as we mature and grow older, our values will naturally evolve. I recommend revisiting this practice once a year…ideally just before you do any annual goal setting.
Some years, you may have no changes in your values. Others, you may recognize some slight shifts. Whatever the case, be intentional and thoughtful about this reoccurring exercise.
This Week's Action Items:
Identify the times you felt most fulfilled or proud. What led to that?
Consider finding a list of values online that you can use if you prefer a more methodical approach.
Narrow your list down to 3-5 values.
Challenge yourself on whether you are truly demonstrating those values on a frequent and consistent basis.
Revisit your values once a year to identify any shifts or changes.
