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This next installment of our goal planning series focuses on intentionally selecting goals that will help provide long-term fulfillment and meaning to your life. Often times, we make the mistake of setting goals to address short-term problems or challenges without giving enough thought to the long-term value those goals might provide.
There's also the trap of setting goals that you think you should be setting but don't truly align to your values. This might simply be choosing popular goals that others are doing or selecting goals based on perceived expectations from family, friends and society.
Below are a few strategies for identifying and selecting goals that will align with your values and who you are as a person. Identifying goals in this way will increase the likelihood of success and will also leave you more fulfilled long-term. These strategies can be used independently or in combination with one another. You choose the right approach for you.
Your Values
If you are going to orient your goal planning around long-term fulfillment, you have to know who you are as a person. Strangely, most people have never sat down to truly consider who they are and what they truly value. They say they know themselves, but have a hard time articulating it when asked.
I recommend that people start with google. Do a quick search of "list of values" and you'll get a number of results back with long lists of core values. You're looking for a long (at least 60 values) and well balanced list.
Review the list and write-down the 10-12 that most resonate with you. Not what you think you should choose or what you think others would choose but what you want.
Now take that list of 10-12 and cut it down to 5. This might be a little painful, but if every value is important to you than none of them are. We're looking for the small handful of values that truly means the most to you.
How full are your buckets?
Another approach is to determine how fulfilled you are in the various areas of your life. For this exercise, doing another google search for "wheel of life" will lead you to various resources for completing this type of assessment.
Different wheels have different "areas", so find the one that seems true and most balanced to you. The one I use is from Positive Psychology. Twice a year, I rate each on a scale from 1-10. I then compare those ratings against my values (above) and determine the areas I need to focus on more.
I don't have the bandwidth to focus on all ten of these at the same time (neither do you). Additionally, some of these domains simply are not in alignment with my values so a lower score in those areas won't bother me.
Looking back
Look back on the past year (or past 6 months, if you are following our previous guidance). Identify the moments during this time when you were happiest and full of energy. Also, identify the moments you felt at your lowest when your energy was most depleted. List out 5-10 examples of each and see if any trends appear.
This will give you an indicator of the type of activities you should amplify in your life and those you should reduce or eliminate. What people, places and activities are adding value to your life? Which of those are bringing frustration? Now you can build your goals around those learnings.
Prompting Questions
You don't have to follow more structured approaches as the ones above. Sometimes great prompting questions can help to point you in the right direction. Here are a few of my favorite prompts…
What would you never regret attempting, even if you failed?
What would you do if you had all the time and money in the world?
How would you live if you knew you only had 5 to 10 years left?
What would you most regret if you die tomorrow?
How would you live differently if your greatest fear disappeared?
This Week's Action Items:
Identify at least one exercise above to help you identify meaningful goals.
If you are combining exercises, leverage the learnings from each to see how they reinforce or complement one another.
Start identifying and developing goals based on the learnings from whatever exercise(s) you choose.
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