I've previously covered strategies for leveraging your calendar to support your priorities in the 'Calendar Defense' issue.
At some level, it can feel good to receive a meeting invite. It suggests that we're important enough to be included and that perhaps our perspectives are needed.
To reclaim our calendars, we need to put our ego aside and question the value of our attendance. This follow-up provides additional strategies for making those assessments as well as sample language of how to politely decline the meeting for each scenario.
Of course, it should be stated that your manager always has the option to require your attendance to a meeting. Outside of that caveat, here are some tips for assessing and responding to low-value meetings…
What's the point?
From the invite, can you identify the objective or goal of the meeting? What decision needs to be made or what problem is being solved? Unfortunately, many facilitators don't apply that much forethought to meetings which turn into general discussions or working sessions. If the objective is not clear, feel free to ask the facilitator for more information before you commit.
A polite decline may look like this: "Hello. Can you help me understand the objective of this meeting? It wasn't clear to me in the invite and I'd like to better understand the problem were solving and how I can contribute."
How does it align?
Once you have determined the objective or goal of the meeting, ask yourself whether it aligns with your priorities. If it does, there may still be an opportunity to delegate attendance. If the meeting doesn’t align with your priorities, it's probably worth questioning whether you truly need to attend.
In these situations, a simple decline should suffice. You don't have to offer alternative times or elaborate excuses. No is a complete sentence.
A polite decline may look like this: "Hello. I won't be able to attend this meeting due to conflicting priorities. Please let me know if there is anything my team can provide ahead of the meeting or if there are any takeaways after the fact."
Are you needed and why?
Is your perspective critical for the discussion? Unless you’re the sole subject matter expert and your knowledge is required there is a good chance that the team can come to a reasonable conclusion without your contributions. If that's the case, let others lead where it makes sense so that you can focus on your priorities.
Follow the same process if you're a decision maker. Are you absolutely sure that you need to make the final decision in a meeting or is it a scenario where a consensus works? Even if you are the sole decision maker, is the meeting necessary or can you request the information be submitted to you for review?
A polite decline may look like this: "Hello. It' not clear to me what my role will be in this meeting. Can you help clarify that or is there something I can provide via email instead?"
Can you delegate the meeting?
This is my favorite of all the strategies. Maybe you have identified that you don't need to attend but still want representation at the meeting. Can you send someone from your team? This strategy is great because it's a way to ween yourself off of attending every single meeting while also supporting the development of someone on your team.
You don't even need to have direct reports to do this. I can't tell you how many times I've seen an entire team off peers on the same call when only one was needed. In these instances, divide and conquer meetings with your peers. You can then email any key points they need to know about or bring them up in your next team meeting.
A polite decline may look like this: "Hello. I won't be able to attend this meeting but Jennifer will be there on my behalf. She should be able to provide you with the information or guidance that you are seeking."
This Week's Action Items:
Pick a meeting or meeting series that you don't find particularly valuable.
Understand the purpose and goal of the meeting before deciding whether you will attend.
Determine whether that goal aligns with your priorities.
Determine whether the goal can be accomplished without your attendance.
Determine whether somebody else can represent your interests in the meeting.
Practice a polite decline using these steps and/or the recommended phrasings above.
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