The leader’s ego
While the term "ego" has a negative connotation, everyone has one. It's a basic component of our psychology that shapes our sense of self and personal identity. It informs how we perceive ourselves and our importance in relation to others and the outside world.
As leaders, it's particularly easy to let our ego take over as a result of our title, authority or span of control. While ego has its place in leadership (think confidence, decisiveness, resilience, etc.) it can all-too-easily get away from us. This can lead to arrogance, blind spots, poor decisions and damaged morale.
There are a number of things we can do to keep our ego in check and lead from a place of humility and community. Here are just a few recommendations…
Develop relationships
We've previously discussed the power of building strong working relationships. Doing so increases the familiarity and trust between you and the other person. This makes the relationship and your shared work less about your roles and more about the individuals and the shared mission.
Developing relationships with your team is foundational for so many different leadership strategies. It's the number one thing I recommend new leaders focus on. It was also the topic of my very first newsletter.
Reflect on your motives
Get in the habit of reflecting on your motives when making decisions. Ask yourself, am I making this decision or pursuing this opportunity because it serves the team and our mission? Or am I doing this because it serves me or will make me look good?
Sometimes the answer is both, and that's ok. There's nothing wrong with a little ambition. As long as you are not putting yourself above the team and its mission, you're usually ok.
You also don't need to do this with every decision, that would be crippling. Start with the big ones to practice.
When you practice this enough, it gets much easier to automatically spot when you're making an ego-based decision instead of a strategic one.
Delegate
Delegation, when done right, forces you to give up some control while also illustrating that others can be just as effective (if not more) with responsibilities. As a leader, this is valuable because it requires some humility to acknowledge that it's not all on us. We can and should trust the strong people around us.
We have several posts on delegation that give detailed advice on how to approach this tricky topic. Different leaders will struggle with different aspects of delegation, so review the various topics and take action where it makes the most sense for you.
Learn from others
You have probably heard the saying "if you are the smartest person in the room…you're in the wrong room".
Learning from others is another way to reinforce the fact that you don't always need to be the one who has all the answers or makes every decision.
How do we achieve this? Consider inviting experts on relevant topics to your team meetings or project meetings to weigh-in. Even if you are reasonably informed on the topic in question, inviting someone with a deeper knowledge will likely reveal new insights and perspective.
Seek feedback
Seeking and accepting feedback from others can help to balance your ego while also aiding in your development. As you develop stronger relationships with your team, the feedback will become more honest and effective.
There is an art to this that we'll cover another time. For now, it's worth mentioning that seeking and accepting feedback doesn't mean you need to drastically change your behavior based on every piece of feedback you receive. Simply remaining open to different perspectives will go a long way towards a healthier ego.
This Week's Action Items:
Spend the time to develop deep, meaningful relationships with your team.
Develop the habit of identifying whether your major decisions are driven by self-serving motives or a common goal.
See our series on delegation to help promote a more collaborative approach to work.
Invite more knowledgeable subject matter experts to group discussions.
Once you have begun developing strong relationships with your team, start asking them for feedback.
